Barragan's Christmas Adventure
by Dante 101
Summary: Aizen announces that Christmas will happen in Las Norches and Barragan's not happy about it. Join Barragan as he tries to discover the true meaning of Christmas with Ggio Vega at his side. Rated T for Cursing and Swearing. Finale chapter is up.
1. Aizen's announcement

Chapter 1

In the palace of Las Noches, we find Aizen and his Espada having another boring meeting which was beginning piss off most of the Espada (yes including Ulquiorra who is so loyal to Aizen) ever since they lost the winter war to Soul Society and to make matters worse they even lost the Hōgyoku (yes the little glass ball) to Soul Society and so no more arrancar could be made. Aizen kept calling meeting after meeting to discuss pointless things like making repairs to Las Noches which none of the arrancar wanted to because they thought it was such a huge pain in the ass and all they wanted to do was relax. The Espada decided that if Aizen was going to discuss something crappy one more time then they would have to beat him, drug him and throw his royal prissy ass from Las Noches where he would have to spend the rest of his days running away from hollows and screaming like a little girl. But little they did know that this meeting would be different from the other entire ones they had so far.

"Settle down children, I have a very important announcement to make. That is why I called you here." The Espada stopped talking amongst themselves and looked at Aizen who had taken a sip of his tea out of his royal tea cup.

"Ok now that everyone has their tea, I will make my announcement. Earlier this week, I have noticed that you all have been bored out of your minds and I asked Ichimaru-san and Tousen-san (oh yeah Aizen's evil henchmen!) what we should do about it and since none of them could come up with anything I being the boss came up with an idea as usual, "My dear children this Christmas will be the first Christmas here in Las Noches."

"ARE YOU HIGH OR SOMETHING?!" yelled/asked the 6th Espada Grimmjaw (kitty) Jaggerjack.

"This is sort of unexpected,'' said the 7th Espada Zommari LeRoux.

Everyone than began talking excitedly amongst themselves about how to set up Las Noches. Everybody except for a certain person.

"I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS DECISION!"

Everybody turned their heads to look at Barragan Luisenbarn the 2nd Espada who was looking very pissed off.

"What's the matter Barragan?" Gin asked the elderly Espada.

"I'll tell you what's up," why the hell are we celebrating some crappy holiday that's already being celebrated by those humans?!" he shouted.

"It's because everyone in Las Noches was bored and I believe it would be good for us if we tried out this holiday and I know you want to try it too Barragan." said Aizen as he took another sip of his tea.

"I still don't want to try this holiday," said Barragan.

"You don't have to," said Tousen.

"Yeah, said Gin, you don't have to be ruining everyone's good time .

Everyone turned their heads back to Barragan whose face was turning beet red.

"What did you call me?" said Barragan through gritted teeth.

"You heard me " said Gin.

Everyone thought that Barragan was going to take out his zanpakutō and kick Gin's little ass for that but Barragan just grabbed a rotten tomato from nowhere and threw it a Gin's face.

"ARRRRRGH MY FACE!" screamed Gin. He then covered his face still screaming and he kept crashing into walls on his way out of "Aizen's Meeting Room."

"RESPECT MY AUTHORITY NEXTIME ICHIMARU!" yells Barragan. He then turned to glare at the remaining people in the room. "Does anyone else want to go the same way he did?" and they all shook their heads but with Nnoitra the 5th Espada muttering "Cruddy Old Man."

The rest of the meeting had ended a few hours later and all the Espada were walking back to their rooms and Barragan walked into his kingly headquarters where his fracción were minding there own business. When they saw Barragan enter the room they immediately bowed to him. Barragan only grunted in response as he sat on his kingly throne and his fracción gave their king looks of concern.

"What's seems to be the matter your majesty?" asked Findor Carias. "Did something happen in the meeting?" Barragan looked at him.

"Yes Findor" he said. "The Boss just informed us Espada that Las Noches will be having its first Christmas" he said and his fracción cheered.

"Christmas here in Las Noches," I'm going to faint! Said Charlotte Cuuhlhourne and then he fainted.

"WHAT YOU LIKE THIS HOILDAY ALSO!?" yells Barragan.

"Of course" said Pō the biggest fracción, who wouldn't like Christmas?

"ME! Yells Barragan and his fracción looked surprised.

"But why sir?" said Avarima Reeder.

"Why? Simply it's because I don't like it that's why" said Barragan.

"But sir," said Ggio Vega the shortest and most good looking of Barragan's fracción "if you just gave Christmas a try then you might like it" he said.

Barragan's vein popped. "ALRIGHT!," he yells " I'll go see for myself why people like Christmas so much, but if I don't like it then I will get rid of Santa Claus and destroy Christmas forever he said" laughing evilly. His fracción looked stunned, even Cuuhlhourne who had just got up suddenly fainted again.

Barragan pointed at Ggio. "Vega you will accompany me into the human world" he ordered and get your gigai ready. "Yes sir" he said and he went to his room to go get it. "Pō you're in charge till I get back" he said. "Yes sir" said Pō.

Later Barragan and Ggio had their gigais on and Ggio opened the Garuganta to the human world.

"Alright Christmas," said Barragan "show me what you got," and he and Ggio went through the Garuganta to the human world.

To be continued…


	2. Finding Ggio

**Finding Ggio**

The Garuganta opened up into an unused alleyway in Karakura Town and Barragan and Ggio stepped out of it as the Garuganta closed behind them.

'I don't understand why we had to come out in an alleyway,' said Barragan, besides it smells bad here.'

'Do you want people to notice that an old man and a teenager just came out of the sky from nowhere and if there soul reapers watching that would alert Soul Society?' said Ggio.

"Oh yeah,' said Barragan. 'Well come on Vega,' he said as he walked out of the alleyway with Ggio following him.

'What the hell?' said Barragan when he was at the entrance to the alleyway?

They both saw that the stores had been decorated and they could see people walking about doing their own errands and they could see little children throwing snow balls at each other and last of all there was snow everywhere and more of it was falling form the sky.

'Well it looks like they're having a good time,' said Barragan as a group of children went past him. 'Never mind lets go to the mall over there,' he said pointing at the direction of the mall.' 'I want to see if Santa is a powerful as I am,' he said. 'Come along Ggio...Ggio?" Barragan Turned to look where he _thought_ Ggio had been standing.

'Ggio!' shouted Barragan, 'Where the hell are you?' Then he saw Ggio doing something on the snow with his arms and legs and he was laughing.

'What the hell is he doing?' thought Barragan. He then walked to the spot Ggio was at and yelled 'Vega what the hell do you think your doing?!'

Ggio stopped laughing and he looked up and said 'I was making a snow angel your majesty,' he said.

'A what?' said Barragan and Ggio stood up so Barragan could get a look and his work. 'This is a snow angel sir,' he said.

'Okay I see it looks like an angel but don't embarrass me like that again!' shouted Barragan.

'But sir'- began Ggio.

'No buts,' said Barragan 'now come on we must go to the mall' as he started to run towards to the mall and people he ran passed by said ' does that old man have to take a dump or something?'

'Wait your majesty!' cried Ggio as he ran after Barragan. As he was running a group of girls said 'Hey cutie' to him and Ggio was caught by surprised and he turned to look at the girls who said that but since he wasn't watching where he was running, Ggio ran into a telephone pole and he hit his head.

'Are you okay cutie?' said the same group of girls.

Ggio got up and he nearly lost his balance again before saying 'I'm okay.' He said to them before he resumed his pursuit of Barragan.

'Okay cutie' they said.

Ggio blushed as he was still running. '_If Apache, Mila-Rose and Sun-Sun were here and they heard that they'd probably beat the crap out of those girls for that_' he thought as he continued to run after Barragan. '_Speaking of those three I wonder what they're up to right now?' _he thought as he continued running.

Back at Las Noches we find our three favorite female arrancar at Halibel's headquarters doing stuff. Mila-Rose was painting her nails, Apache was reading a comic book and Sun-Sun was praying at the Ggio shrine. (Yes I added a shrine there.) They've been all praying at the Ggio shrine all day long until they received news from Halibel-sama that Las Noches was going to have its first Christmas. The three female fracción were extremely happy with this news because they had a chance to celebrate a holiday with the object of their affection Ggio Vega. They wanted to give their gifts to him immediately but they decided to wait until the right time to give their gifts.

Apache threw away her comic book and said 'This is so boring; I've read that comic book like ten times already.'

'What do you want me to do about it?' said Mila-Rose.

'I didn't ask for you opinion,' snapped Apache.

'Why you little-

'Please stop that, can you please take your argument somewhere else?' Your disturbing me said Sun-Sun.

Apache and Mila-Rose (who had stopped painting her nails) glared at each other and then Mila-Rose said 'Sun-Sun, don't you have anything else to do besides praying at the shrine all day?'

'No,' said Sun-Sun 'and besides I want Ggio-kun to return my love for him with his own and unlike you two since I'm praying more he'll most likely return his love for me.'

'NO HE WON'T!' yelled Apache HE'LL BE MY MAN!

Mila-Rose watched Apache and Sun-Sun arguing with each other and she also wanted to participate in the argument but then again she believed it was a waste of time. But then an idea came to Mila-Rose's mind.

'SLIENCE!' she yelled and Apache and Sun-Sun stopped arguing to look at her.

'I've got good idea, why don't we find Ggio-kun and flirt with for a while?' she said with a smirk on her face.

Grins appeared on Apache's and Sun-Sun's faces.

'Yes let's go find him,' said Sun-Sun.

'This'll be good,' said Apache.

The three left Halibel's headquarters to go to Barragan's headquarters in the hopes of finding Ggio. But they are unaware that Ggio already left with Barragan.

When the three females reached the second Espada's headquarters they heard something from behind the door which made them stop as Mila-Rose was about knock on it.

'What the hell is that noise?' she said.

'Sounds like music,' said Sun-Sun.

'Whatever kind of music it is it sounds really stupid,' said Apache.

'Screw that,' said Mila-Rose as she knocked on the door.

There was no response so she tried again.

There was still no response.

'Music must be loud,' said Sun-Sun.

That's it I'm breaking this door open,' said Mila-Rose who was looking pissed off and she was going to charge a cero when the door opened reveling Charlotte Cuuhlhourne who was wearing a red version of his arrancar uniform.

'Who is – 'oh it's you three,' he said looking at them with distaste.'

'Who is it Cuuhlhourne?' said Findor's voice from the room where the music stopped playing.

'It's no one Findor,' he said 'No one but some ugly girls at the door.

'WHO ARE YOU CALLING UGLY YOU BASTARD!' screamed Mila-Rose as she punched Cuuhlhourne on the face breaking his nose and sending him back into the room.

Apache, Mila-Rose and Sun-Sun followed in and saw that they saw that the fracción had decorated the room for Christmas there was even a Christmas tree there. Cuuhlhourne was on the floor clutching his broken nose which was beginning to bleed.

Silence followed for a moment and then Pō said 'What are you three doing here?'

'We just want to see Ggio-kun,' said Sun-Sun.

'Why?'

'None of your business,' said Apache.

'He's not in,' said Pō.

'What?!' shouted Apache 'then where is he?!'

'He and Barragan-sama left for the human world a few hours ago to do an errand said Pō choosing his words carefully.

'Dammit,' cursed Mila-Rose, then she said 'fine but if he comes back can you tell us?'

'I will said Pō secretly crossing his fingers.

The three females left Barragan's quarters and were walking back to Halibel's head quarters.

'Damn,' cursed Apache, I thought we could see Ggio-kun today.

'Could this get any worse?' said Mila Rose.

'Well what do we have here?' said a familiar voice.

'You just had to ask,' said Sun-Sun as Gin Ichimaru had walked up to them.

'I wonder why all three of Halibel's fracción are here,' he said with that fox-grin on his face.

Apache was going to tell Gin to leave when she smelled something rotten and it seemed to be coming from Gin.

'What the hell are you wearing perfume,' said Apache.

'That's none of your business,' said Gin. He was about to leave when Sun-Sun dunked a bucket of cold water on his head and it speaded to his clothes.

'MY CLOTHES,' screamed Gin as he sneezed. 'You three are- 'hey where'd they go' he said as he saw that the females were gone. 'Never mind,' he said as he began shivering, 'I better go change my clothes' he said as he left.

To be continued…


	3. Hollow Claus

Okay this is the last chapter of this fanfic. Please read and review.

**Hollow Claus **

Ggio finally reached the entrance to Karakura mall and went inside. When he did he saw that a lot of people running this way and that doing whatever stuff they had to do. The mall was also decorated for Christmas and there were people running this way and that doing their errands or whatever stuff they had to do. Ggio looked around and he couldn't see Barragan among the people.

Ggio gulped. '_How am I supposed to find his majesty among these people?'_ he thought to himself. He then decided to go look for Barragan so he went into the crowd of people and cried 'Barragan, where are you?' But after five minutes Ggio gave up and decided to do the only option he had left. He fell on the floor and curved into a ball, and then he began hyperventilating.

Back at Las Noches Apache's head shot up as she felt a strange tingling sensation in her horn and she knew what it meant. She got up and began running to the door.

'Where are you going Apache?' said Halibel who was reading a magazine.

'Halibel-sama, my Ggio senses are tingling and it's telling me that Ggio-kun is in trouble,' said Apache.

'I'm sure Ggio is fine, go sit back down,' said Halibel.

'But mistress I felt the sensation in my horn, please let me go to Ggio-kun he needs my help,' pleaded Apache.

Halibel sighed, she knew that all three of her fracción loved Ggio dearly and would do anything for him but it was starting to get on Halibel's nerves. Most of the time her fracción would just sit and pray at the Ggio shrine and they would mostly talk about him. But Halibel decided that she might have to decline Apache's request just this once.

'Apache, Ggio is with Barragan and Barragan would not let anything happen to Ggio,' 'I'm sorry but I can't let you go to Ggio at all now go to you're room,' said Halibel as she pointed at the door to Apache's room.

I HATE YOU HALIBEL-SAMA! screamed Apache as tears came down from her beautiful mismatched eyes as she ran to her room crying and slammed her door shut.

'Love struck teens' said Halibel as she turned another page of her magazine.

Back at Karakura mall we find Ggio in same position as he was before. He was hyperventilating for ten minutes when he felt a light kick to the back followed by a gruff voice saying 'What the hell are you doing on the floor Vega?' Ggio looked up from the hyperventilating position and saw Barragan looking at him.

Your majesty! cried Ggio.

'Yeah who'd you expect Chris Tucker?' said Barragan.

'Where did you go your majesty? I went looking for you but I couldn't find you anywhere! cried Ggio once again.

'I went to the washroom to take a dump, said Barragan and Ggio sweatdroped.

'Oh, was all he could say as he got up from the floor.

'Anyway let's find Santa Claus I think he's this way, said Barragan as he went in the direction he pointed at with Ggio following him close behind.

After a few minutes of looking they came across the place where Santa is.

'Look said Ggio 'there it is.'

'Finally grumbled Barragan.'

As they came to the entrance of Santa's area a guy dressed up like an elf came up to them.

'Sorry but I can't let you through' he said.

'Listen you I been wanting to speak to Santa Claus ever since I came here and I will not be held back you hear me?! shouted Barragan.

'Well that's the thing, you can't speak to Santa,' the elf guy said.

Why? said Ggio.

'He's sick,' said the elf guy.

WHAT! yelled Barragan.

'He is and to make matters worse one of our elf guys is also sick and also there's a whole line of people whose children want to take pictures with Santa, some other elf guys are trying to stall the crowd but they can't hold out much longer.

'I don't believe this, this is just crap,' said Ggio.

'I know, said the elf as a light bulb appeared above his head. 'Why don't you and your friend take the places of Santa and the elf?' said the elf guy.

'But- began Barragan but he was interrupted by the elf guy who said 'Great! Now follow me,' he said as he dragged Barragan and Ggio by the arms despite Barragan's protests and Ggio held up a sign that said HELP US!, CALL THE POLICE! To anyone who was watching.

Later on the same elf guy reappeared in front of the crowd with Ggio at his side who was wearing the same elf costume but it was of the same design as his arrancar uniform although it was still green with stripes and there were no elf ears but Ggio still wore the elf hat and the elf shoes.

'Ladies and Gentlemen!' the elf guy said the crowd and there was silence in the crowd. 'Sorry for the delay but we were experiencing some problems with Santa and one of his elves but now that's been solved,' he said. 'Now I present Santa Claus! he cried as the crowd cheered. Then the curtain pulled back to reveal Barragan who was dressed up in a full Santa costume and was sitting on Santa's throne or chair or whatever you want to it. 'Now the children may go to Santa and ask him what they want for Christmas and take their pictures with him,' the elf guy said as he let the first child go first.

Barragan was pissed off at the fact that he had to be Santa when he didn't want to. He came to find Santa, not be Santa although it felt good to sit on his throne as Barragan like to call it. When he saw the happy faces of those children he felt a little moved inside and as the first child was moving closer and closer he felt happier with this. When the child sat on his lap and said hi to Barragan couldn't take it anymore.

Ho! Ho! Ho! said Barragan 'Well what's your name little boy?'

'Jake said the boy.

'Well Jake have you been a good boy this year?'

'Yes Santa,' said Jake.

'Well what do you want for Christmas this year Jake?'

'A gundam action figure,' said Jake.

'Well that's a good choice.'

As the photographer took the picture Ggio could only watch with amazement. _'This is the first I've seen his majesty so happy in a long time.'_ he thought as he saw the next child sitting on Barragan's lap. When he turned around he saw an adult with braces looking at him.

'What?' said Ggio.

'Aren't you a little young to be an elf?' he said.

'And aren't you a little old to be wearing braces?' retorted Ggio.

The adult looked at his braces sadly and he walked away.

'_Serves him right.'_ thought Ggio as then he turned to look at the line of children. _'This is going to take a while,'_ he thought.

Back in Las Noches we find the rest of the Espada, Aizen, Gin and Tousen eating their Christmas dinner. Grimmjaw reached to take a piece of ham but it was taken by Nnoitra.

'Hey give me that ham Nnoitra! shouted Grimmjaw.

'Make me,' he sneered.

Grimmjaw stood up as did Nnoitra.

'You gonna fight me?' he said.

'No,' said Grimmjaw. 'I'll rosi bamboo you for it.'

'What's that?'

'It's simple. 'I'll kick you in the nuts as hard as I can and you kick me in the nuts as hard as you can.'

'HA! That's it? That's so easy.'

'Alright go, said Grimmjaw as he kicked Nnoitra in the nuts and Nnoitra fell over clutching his sacred place as Nnoitra began to sob.

'HA! I WIN!, shouted Grimmjaw as he took the ham.' DOES ANYONE WANT A KICK IN THEIR WEE BUCKET!?' 'No offence Halibel' he said to her.

Nobody answered then a voice came from the intercom.

'Attention all arrancar, Aizen and Aizen's men.' This is one of Hollow Claus's hollow elves. 'I would like to inform you that Hollow Claus is in Las Noches and he is in Aizen-Sama's throne room thank you,' said the voice and then the intercom went dead.

Silence was over in the room and then:

'HOLLOW CLAUS!'

'HOLLOW CLAUS IS HERE!?'

'HOORAY!'

Everyone left including Nnoitra who was still clutching his sacred place and cursing Grimmjaw.

Everyone arrived in Aizen's throne room to see Hollow Claus sitting on Aizen's throne realizing it was Barragan who was out of his gigai but they didn't care. They screamed out cheers and all that stuff.

'Alright could everyone please line up except for Aizen, Gin and Tousen!?' shouted Findor who was wearing an elf version of his uniform

The faces of the ruler of Las Noches and his henchmen fell as the other fracción who were also wearing elf versions of their arrancar uniforms

except Ggio who was also out of his gigai but still wearing his elf costume had to file everyone in line. Ggio then walked up to Aizen, Gin and Tousen holding Christmas boxes.

'Aizen-sama, Gin and Tousen the reason you aren't in line is because his majesty has already got you Christmas gifts.

'Really?' gasped Aizen.

'Yes here are your gifts,' said Ggio as he handed the gifts to them.

Aizen opened his gift first. 'It's a miniature version of the King's Key! he cried happily. 'Oh thank you Santa!' he cried.

Tousen opened his gift next but he couldn't see what it was due to his blindness.

'It's a book about justice,' said Ggio.

'A justice book? I love justice! This is what I always wanted!' he cried as be begun to read it but he was reading it upside down.

'You know said Gin I really have to admit this,' he said as he saw Barragan asking Lilinette what she wanted for Christmas. 'Barragan really has changed, he said as he opened the lid of his gift. 'Oh a hat! I've always wanted one of those and it matches my hair!

'Um that's not a hat, said Ggio 'It's your new pet fox.

'Really? said Gin as he took it out of the box and he looked at it and it looked back at him. 'Well aren't you just the cutest thing' he said as he touched it with his finger. The fox then leapt on his face and started scratching it.

AGRRR! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF IT'S SCRATCHING MY FACE screamed Gin as tried to get the fox off but to no avail.

Ggio turned around and began to leave when a voice said Ggio-kun! and Ggio saw Apache, Mila-Rose and Sun-Sun walking up towards him holding their Christmas gifts.

'Um hi there' he said to the three female arrancar who were all looking at him with love struck looks in their eyes.

'Why didn't you tell us you had to leave Ggio-kun?' asked Sun-Sun?

'I had to leave as soon as Barragan told me I had to go with him, he replied.

'Are you hurt?' asked Apache 'Because my Ggio-senses told me you were in trouble.

'_Ggio-senses?'_ he thought. 'No I'm not hurt.' He said.

'We all missed you Ggio-kun' said Mila-Rose.

He blushed. 'Thanks he said.'

'Ggio-kun we want to give you our gifts if you let us' said Mila-Rose with a sort of lustful look in her eyes.

Now wanting to get out here Ggio said 'Is that Halibel I see over there?'

'Where?' said the three female arrancar in unison as they turned around. After finding that Halibel wasn't there they saw that Ggio was gone.

'Dammit he's gone!' said Mila-Rose.

'Don't worry he'll like our gifts soon as soon as we show them to him' said Apache.

'Yeah' said Sun-Sun, He'll belong to one of us soon enough.'

**The End**

Whew I'm ending the story right here guys and I would like to thank you all for your corporation and patience. Merry Christmas! I'm deciding whether or not to write a sequel to this but I can tell you that it involves Ggio, Apache, Mila-Rose and Sun-Sun and their gifts(look at hint near the end of the story) I will be writing future fanfics my fans.


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